Thursday, March 7, 2024

A Millennial romp through Jane Austen

 


A few years back I wrote this story about a fifteen-year-old girl named Frankie drudging through a very complicated life in a fictional small town called Haleman, Iowa. Recently, I decided to reedit the manuscript for publication because there was something charming and genuine about the story that has never left me. Usually I . . . hate my work and think it blows chunks.

Little did it occur to me at the time of writing that I was capturing a ton of early 2000s nostalgia that has now changed or become non-existent (twitter anyone?). It also hit me after watching and reading many versions of the film and book, that I had penned a modern-day version of Pride and Prejudice, one of my nightly hyper fixations. If you are a Jane Austen junkie, like me, you don't care. There's never enough Austen. 

The story is also based on the era of time my Catholic mother sent my sister and I to a different high school because my sister was too wild. FRESHMAN YEAR. The worst year you could ever be relegated to newbie status. I mean, walking through those doors you're already fresh meat, and being from a different town made me a double threat: a newbie newbie. Ouch. Plus, my body was changing, doing weird shit. In a matter of weeks, none of my jeans fit and everything seemed to be in my way. Then out of nowhere I got my menses and developed boobies. Add red hair, freckles, crooked teeth. Welp, I wasn't Giselle Bundchen. However, those miserable days of awkwardness and freakdom became a great inspiration for this book and daily excuse to remind my kids that their life is sparkling unicorn ass compared to their mom's freshman year. The year I still refer to as . . . HELL.

I survived HELL and all I have to show for it is this crummy T-shirt. 

Anywho, it is my deepest wish that you will download and read my little tromp through time with hints of Regency doomsday romance. Oh, and silent movies. It's clear that I know way too much about that particular topic, and now you can too for the low price of $8.

Just know that if you do read My Zygotic Creation and leave a review, I'll perform a curtsy and sing Greensleeves. Yes . . . I know . . . you've been asking for a long time . . .

As always, thank you for reading and stopping by.

Saturday, January 6, 2024

Remember Jan 6

 



A few days before Jan 6, Trump supporters pushed back against cops at one of their protests, and I remember many of us online reacting with fear that they no longer respected the law and what did that mean? Tr*mp himself had shown he would not concede. He hadn’t even allowed Biden into the customary pre-inauguration White House visit that Obama had allowed for Trump. Prospects did not look good. It was clear there was one side against the other and we were in a veritable Civil War. 

When Tr*mp said he was having a rally outside the capital January 6–the day the electoral votes were counted—I felt dread. He had not conceded and was not giving up. I said to my daughter, “It’s going to be violent and at least one person will die. Tr*mp’s not giving in. He has something under his sleeve .” 

The morning of January 6, the kids went back to school after winter break, snow was on the ground and the radio played, ‘Lawyers and guns and money.’ In the back of my mind, would Pence certify the election?

Trump’s rally began, and  it was announced Pence would certify. That’s when he said to his crowd, “Pence let us down.” And in the crowd you could hear “Hang Pence, kill Mike Pence.” 

The live counting began only to be delayed by Ted Cruz opposing. That delay was when Trump sent his angry mob to the capital saying, “Fight like hell.” People with red hats and Tr*mp flags scaled walls and broke windows. They pushed and beat the security guards. I remember seeing birds dive-bomb the protesters and thought that it was angels trying to stop them.

The protestors made their way in like rabid dogs. It was horrifying watching this on TV and all of us on Twitter asked why they wouldn’t tell Trump to put an end to the insurrection?

My kids came home from school and saw the chaos of MAGA zombies sitting in Pelosi‘s chair, going into her office destroying peeing, defecating, laughing enjoying—still Trump does not call them off.

Finally late in the day,  he posts a video saying he loves them. He loves his violent protesters. He loves that they were gonna kill Pence. He loves them but  they better go home. Thanks for trying. I said by the grace of God our capital was protected and our votes were counted that night.

They came back and counted the electoral votes and Democracy was saved with bated breath. Biden was inaugurated on January 20, though like many, I was terrified something would happen to stop the event. Call it PTSD or situational awareness, but many of us were terrified for the future of America. 

And then came the trials. The insurrection we had watched on live TV led by Tr*mp was called into question, and they let him off the hook. If you called in a group of thugs to break into a bank and you encouraged the robbers so that you could have the money, would you not be part of the bank robbery? Would you not be considered the head of the event? Would you not be prosecuted along with them? Now, he calls them hostages; he has a song celebrating Jan 6 because to him they are HIS America.

January 6 put a stain on protesting— an American right—and the way we are heard because otherwise our voices are lost in the crowd. Now anyone who protests is seen as a potentially violent insurrectionist so we leave it up to the justice system, yet he has insurrectionists in high places to fight for him. Is a justice system or a guerrilla republic?

A few summers ago, a woman at the grocery store became belligerent saying Biden was a fake President and Trump would come back, and if she could be in another insurrection she would. I know this to be true—they deny it was a violent event and say it was antifa, but in a heartbeat they would do it again.

Tr*mp has stained America. He cannot come back. He does not deserve to be on the ballot. He does not deserve to be president. People died on Jan 6, but by the grace of God, America remains a democracy and for those who fought and died to preserve our Constitution, we should act in great reverence by protecting and honoring the vote. And we should all vote, no matter the party. Vote like your life depends on it, because it does. Your life and liberty does. 

Monday, December 11, 2023

Welcome to Green Valley

     

 

Joe Walker turned the corner and balked at the sight of yet another one, thick as thieves in his little town. Wearing their best clothes, eyes wide at every landmark—God, even the laundromat—and always with an air of importance as if they had every right to be there just because they’d bought a ticket for the time trip. He wanted to tell every single one of them to screw off, but even that was against the rules.

RESPECT THE TRAVELER. SMILE AT THE TRAVELER. HELP THE TRAVELER.

It was a crock, no, an investment.

Into what? The future?

What was wrong with his future, anyway? Wasn’t it good enough?

Barging past—he likened them to illusory objects—Joe felt a sense of relief that he’d almost knocked one over. Inside the protective bubble it cussed and the man in a funny looking T-shirt and Bermuda shorts—the uniform of all travelers—exclaimed, “Hey! You could have popped my pod.”

“Yeah, I was hoping to,” Joe said over his shoulder. A shiny, powder blue Chrysler sped by and nearly ran over his dulled dress shoes.

“But it’s against the rules.”

“Yours or mine?” He lit up a Lark cigarette, stopping to sneer. “Why don’t you go back where you came? Don’t you like your time? If it’s so bad, why don’t you fix it?”

The man gaped and even Joe knew he’d gone too far—it might even land his ass in the slammer for a week, or worse, he’d lose his job at the bookstore. Books were the only thing he was good at, the only thing he could sell because books didn’t need selling. They served a voracious need to learn. His own. The rest of the world could burn in ignorance, and would, and had many times. Yet books, and women, were his only salvation.

“Look,” he said, motioning to the man.  “I didn’t mean what I said. No harm done, right? You won’t report me?”

The man had an air of rejection, of needing to be served and his ass kissed. What’d he want, a goddamn ticker tape parade? The town he’d travelled to was Green Valley, nothing special. A hobunk, nothing town. Why not L.A., New York, Rome?

Because Green Valley was the perfect American dream. Or so they said.

Just then, a bird flew by and shit on top of the man’s shiny clear pod. White glossy scum ran down the sides and blurred his vision. Joe tried not to laugh.

“Well anyway, welcome to my shitty town!” he called out, before crossing the street. It was only two minutes before the hour. Behind him, the man cussed and headed to the nearest safe hotel—the only place the things could stay during their visit. There, they would get a hermetically sealed room to escape their oxygen pod for the night; take a shit, a shower, a shave. And eat. Then it was back into a fresh pod the next morning. He’d like to watch it sometime—these human bugs shedding their shiny latex skins every night and squeezing back into a clean one every day.

So far, the time zones available for travel were 1778, 1898, and 1958. Nothing else was available because of war. Or maybe they liked 8s. And would there ever be trips to the future? No one knew . . . but he was content staying right here. No matter how many came, or what they did or said, this was his place. He’d been born here, and he’d die and have his body embalmed by Martha Biglaow at the Green Valley Bigalow Family Funeral Home--just like everybody else. And he’d be damned if the things forced him out.

Though sometimes he did wonder what the future was like and he desperately wanted to break the rules to ask. But that was number three on the list of forbidden interactions.

NO TRAVELER SHALL BE ASKED ABOUT THEIR TIME!

A few blocks down from his job, the Old English Bookseller, Joe almost ran into another one.  A female. He skidded on his feet to avoid her plasticine wrapper, and then heard a muffled whimper inside.

“I’m punctured,” the woman said. She was petite, well-dressed in a nice two-piece suit and she looked about as 1958 as anyone could. She didn’t look like a traveler, but she did look in distress. Her skin was pale with shock.

“Swear I didn’t bump into you—you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay. But I have to make it back to the safe hotel before anyone sees.” She turned and showed him a long, jagged rip likely caused by the sharp pair of heels she wore.

“Ooweee. Why didn’t you wear soft sneakers like the rest? I thought it was standard.”

“I wanted to look . . . authentic.”

Someone walked by, a normal, and the woman in the ripped pod twisted so they couldn’t see the damage or hear the hiss of air flowing out.

“Would you cover for me?” she asked him.

“Me, aw shit. Not me. I’m late for work. Just over there—” he pointed to the bookstore.

“Please. I’m scared. I—I only wanted to know what it was like to come here. But I don’t have two thousand dollars to cover the fine—for breaking the rules.” She hit him with a pair of brown eyes threatened by tears.

“Fines. Stupid fines . . . Fine,” he said. “I’ll help you but walk fast. I’ll get you to the corner where the safe hotel is, and you’d better hurry in and to your room. Come on.”

“Thanks. You’re a lifesaver.”

He led her down the sidewalk and across the street, mindful in keeping his stride near the rip in order to hide it. She kept up well, better than expected.

“First thing, get rid of those heels,” he said once they arrived. The safe hotel loomed over them with its slick metal and glass. You should have seen the mess they made erecting it and how much chaos it caused. And now, you’d think it’d been there from the start.

“Oh, I will, believe me. It’s kitten heels from now on.” When she smiled at him, he saw that a few actual tears had come out. He’d always been a sucker for a girl in distress. But, holy shit, she was a thing, not a girl.

“Hadn’t you better get inside?” he asked.

“Oh, yes. I’d better.”

She headed for the door.

“What year,” he said to her back.

She turned around. “You won’t believe it, 2044.”

“Jesus. You’re right, I don’t.”

He’d never asked before. It’d never mattered. 2044 was a million years from 1958 and an entire galaxy away. The concept boggled his mind.

“You might as well tell me your name as well,” he said, lighting up again. He didn’t know why he asked. Things didn’t have names. It was better that way.

“Peggy,” she blushed. “My great grandmother’s name. It’s so old fashioned.”

He wouldn’t tell her it was the name of his first girlfriend and that there was a Peggy on every corner. Everyone, it seemed, was a Peggy around here.

“Well, see ya, Peggy. Suits you.”

“Thanks. And thanks for the help.”

“Better hurry.”

She smiled and went in, and he stood for a moment thinking how strange it was to have had a conversation with someone from 2044, though she looked and sounded like any person he’d ever met.

Then he realized how late he was for work and rushed right to the bookstore before a customer could come by and tell his boss he hadn’t opened the doors yet.

“Peggy, from 2044 . . .” he muttered while unlocking the wood and glass door, then he repeated it again as he set up shop. “Peggy, from 2044.” Turn on the lights, open the shades, take out the trash. “Peggy, from the future,” he went on, as he took a seat behind the front counter and waited. He counted the cash drawer and slid it in the register.

Then just, “Peggy.”

The clock struck fifteen after nine. The place was empty—he’d been foolish to worry about customers. Hardly anyone ever came in until ten.

He wondered if he’d ever see her—Peggy—again.

Things, travelers, usually only stayed a week, and most of the time they stuck together. It was like families going to Coney Island, then going back to their hometown all spent and sated with milkshakes and poodle skirts and James Dean movies on their mind. Rebel Without a Cause was all they showed anymore. If you wanted to see a new movie you had to drive out of town. But see, travelers didn’t care. It was all new to them.

Joe wondered if Peggy had already used up her week, if she’d seen the movie, had the milkshake, and he also wondered if she’d come alone. And if so, why?

A little brass bell above the door jangled when a thing came in. It was always a spectacle watching them peruse books without touching or being able to flip through the first chapter. Almost everything was protected. His boss—Marty—had set up a nifty stand with a crank. This allowed Joe to put any book in there a thing asked to read, and then he’d stand there flipping pages each time they said, “When.” It was laborious and mind killing, but more and more part of his job. Then, worst of all, the books they wanted had to come in their own hermetically sealed plasticine that no human—of his kind—had ever touched. It was all pure and safe, and boring.

Hardly any normal came in to buy a book. They were too busy watching . . . the things.

One of them strolled casually around the store for a few minutes before finding a book they wanted him to crank. Then they rang the bell attached to the contraption and he smiled and came over.

“This one?” he asked with fake congeniality. WAR AND PEACE FOR GOD’S SAKE. “Are you planning on buying?”

“I don’t know. I only want to read a few pages. It’s banned in my time, you know?”

“Oh?” His ears pricked up. What time? “Why is it banned?” he asked.

The thing’s eyes widened. He couldn’t break the rule.

“I know, I know,” Joe said. “You’re not supposed to tell me, and I’m not supposed to ask.” He leaned in, though they were alone. “I won’t tell anyone, will you?”

The man smiled, then shook his head. “No, I won’t fib. I’m from 2050. And novels aren’t allowed anymore, only fact fiction.”

Joe pondered the idea of banned novels. “I can’t imagine. Why would they do that? And more importantly, why let you come here when they know you’ll read them anyway?”

“Oh, well that’s just it. I had to sign a waiver not to read any books.” He smiled faintly. “Another rule broken, but I know you won’t tell. And since I’m breaking the rules, why not tell you this? They’re planning on closing you down soon. That’s what I heard. No novels at all. No history, at all.”

The brass bell rang and a mother and three children came in—each wrapped in their own protective pods.

Joe grabbed War and Peace and stuck it into the crank contraption. “Table of contents, or go to the first page?” God, he’d do for another smoke.

“First page, please,” the man said. His eyes were orbs of excitement as he read through the first lines—all contraband in his time. So, Tolstoy’s passionate telling of war and love had become illegal history? How could you erase a time that had been, even fictionalized versions of it? Events and people, war? That was sacrilege!

And now they were coming for his store? How could such a thing be allowed?

“Say when,” he told the man when enough time had passed. “I’ll turn the page every time you say when.”

“When,” the man said after finishing the last few lines on page one—he moved his mouth when he read.

Joe turned the crank and it jostled the book just right so page one turned to page two and three.

The woman and children left after perusing a few Mother Goose books, and Joe looked the man square in the eye—plasticine between them and all.

“Why would they want to come after me? You can’t erase history, you know.”

“Look, I know. It--it’s all the violence. It got worse and worse until everyone was shooting each other with oozies--in my time. Then came the bombs, and my God, people began buying tanks and shooting each other in the street. They said they had to erase all literature that mentioned war, shooting, killing. Hate. I guess I understand. Ten years ago, a peace treaty was signed and then it’s been quite nice, to be honest. We call all go outside again.”

“But you can’t erase history,” Joe said.

“When.” The man shrugged, and a squeaky sound came off his pod. “It’s not me, it’s them. I prefer the truth—but peace is nice too. Say, you’re not going to break our agreement and go out and tell everyone, are you?”

“No . . . of course not. An agreement is an agreement.” The thought had occurred to him that his boss Marty might want to know. But then Marty would go to the City Council and blab the whole thing. Which might not be bad because what if it stopped the things coming around altogether?

The man stepped back. “I don’t like the look in your eye.”

“Listen, I said you can trust me, and I meant it. Do you want me to turn to page four or not?”

“I guess not. I don’t feel like it anymore.” The man turned and headed for the door.

So that was it? All the trust between them eroded, all because Joe had carried a suspicious look in his eye? Who was the bad guy here?

“I told you, I won’t rat you out . . .”

“I’m leaving!”

“Well, come back later then. Maybe I can find you a copy of Mein Kampf.”

The man practically scurried out the door, but Joe didn’t care. He wouldn’t squeal, and how dare the man ask? Typical thing. From now on, it was back to hating them.

He went to sit behind the desk, fear burrowing in his stomach for the future—his future. Because, what would become of him without his job at the bookstore? Books were all he cared about. He didn’t have a wife, or kids, or even a dog. All he had was books, and a bungalow out by the railroad tracks, and he loved it even though it had a leaking roof.

“I can’t lose my job,” he said to himself. “But what can I do?”

The front door jangled and in walked Peggy. The Peggy. All fresh and new. He’d never seen a perfect pod before—usually they had a slight yellowness to them like an eye with a cataract. Wearing a pink sundress and white sneakers, she came in with a smile and damnitt if she didn’t shine like a diamond.

But she’s a thing, he thought. And things are fleeting. Things are trouble.

“Can I help you?” he asked, unable to hide his animosity. “Romance, cooking, cleaning?”

She laughed. “None of those, thank you. I’m into fashion—do you have any books on that topic?”

He nodded his head toward the back wall. “Do you need a crank?”

She halted in place. “A what?”

“A crank. Choose the book, and I’ll crank the pages for you. Any book. I’m here all day.”

“Oh . . . no, don’t trouble yourself. I’ll only look at the covers.” She walked to the back corner. That’s when he realized once again the pods had feet—little attached booties that shuffled on the floor with a sickening slug sound. She was out of sight now and couldn’t see the smirk that came across his face. Slugs. She was one beautiful slug.

“I have all these already,” she called out.

“You do? So they’re not banned in your time?”

She went quiet. The whole place went quiet. That is, until the sound of her shuffling feet carried her to the front desk.

“Pardon me, did you say, banned?”

Oh, shit. It’d only been a few minutes and he’d ratted the guy out, already. Shit. Fuck. Damn.

“I was only presuming,” Joe said, covering up his sin with a wide, unassuming smile.

Peggy searched his eyes. It was then he realized hers were a sparkling green with hints of blue. He’d never seen a thing’s eyes that close before, or even taken the time to look.

“I don’t think you were,” she said with a drawl. “I think you know something.”

“Look, I--”

“It’s been my estimation that certain books will be banned in the not-so-distant future, she said. "Here and everywhere. My fears are confirmed. I know the man who just left—he told me at the depot that he was from 2050.”

Joe shifted on his feet; she was intuitive. And damn his stupid mouth.

Inside the pod, Peggy reached up to scratch her neck. “Think I’m allergic,” she said. “A new pod is the worst.”

She kept itching, and Joe saw a band of red welts rise on her skin. It reminded him of the time he’d walked into a patch of poison ivy at summer camp. He’d itched for days, and even the pink chalky calamine lotion hadn’t been able to quell the urge. At the time, he’d secretly wondered if it was the fear of being separated from his mother that really made him itch.

“I’ll be okay in a minute,” she said. “Imagine your whole vacation in a hot, annoying skin? Like you’re a hotdog or something.”

She smiled and he smiled back—despite his annoyance. Then when she tried to reach for a pencil on the desk, he burst out in laughter.

“Oh, Christ. I forget I can’t reach through,” she said. “I need something for the middle of my back.”

Hesitating, he retrieved a ruler off the desk and came around to stand beside her. “Turn. I’ll to scratch it, carefully.”

Peggy shrugged and turned, putting herself into his trust. “I trust you.”

Joe slowly pushed the ruler across her back, careful not to puncture. “Is this the spot?” he asked.

“Higher,” she said. “To the left. Just a little bit--there! Ah! Yes! Thank you. That’s it. That’s the spot.” She sighed and then turned around. “You’re a hero.”

Fingers suddenly gripping tightly around the ruler, Joe turned to the desk. “All travelers are welcome here.” He slapped the ruler down. “In other words, it’s not a big deal.”

“I see.” Peggy looked around, “I like your store. It’s nice. Look, it’s well known that travelers aren’t accepted in Green Valley. In fact, some people liken us to bugs. Is that how you see us—like bugs . . . like things?”

Joe stammered. He’d never been called out like this. Sometimes he was known for being caustic, sometimes pushy—but never outright rude. He still followed the credo of his father—that all women deserved respect and that a real lady was a gem.

“I won’t lie to you, Peggy. Ever since you people started coming here, I’ve been filled with anger and resentment. You show up and you leave, and at the end of the day what does it mean to me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. To be honest, it feels like we are the bugs—like you’re ogling us. All for a cheap thrill. And all can ask myself is, what’s wrong with your time? Why do you have to come here to get a cheap thrill?”

Scratching at her neck again, Peggy seemed temporarily lost before speaking. “I’ll tell you what we come—why I came. It’s lonely in my time. 1958 looked so happy and carefree. But coming here, I realize every time has a flaw and that no matter where you go, there’s always something missing. I guess you can’t escape it.”

“You used the word lonely,” he said to Peggy. “Is it lonely in 2044?”

“Yes,” she said, lowering her voice. “Yes, it is. No one talks. No one interacts. It’s a wonder we even . . . procreate.”

“That’s something that’ll never end,” he said. “Thank goodness.” There. He’d made her smile.

“Yeah, thank goodness,” she said, laughing. “But in my time, it’s more of an ordeal than a connection. I’m serious. People do it to have children, but it’s not for love. And then children are sent to school at age three. The whole thing is . . . lonely.”

He wanted to reach through the plasticine to clasp onto her fingers.

“No,” she said, as if reading his mind. “It’s against the rules.”

“Right. The rules. I wasn’t really going to.”

“I know.” She craned her neck to get a view of the mother and children. “Well, I guess I should go now. Thanks for your help. I might be back later to look at one of those cook books you mentioned.”

“Oh, right. Cooking.” He gave her a look of apology. “Sorry. It was because you’re a girl and—”

“It’s okay.”

A middle-aged woman came in—a faded drag of a thing. Joe had a suspicion she would ask to read the ever-popular poems of E. E. Cummings. Women like her all did. She gave Peggy a strange look in passing, then another at Joe after Peggy left. When she came over to ask for the E. E. Cummings, just as he’d suspected, he reached under the desk for a copy with a weak smile. They loved the erotic suggestion—Joe figured they felt the poet was speaking just to them. And only them. Sometimes he read it out loud, with much inflection, so they’d get the full effect.

Joe set it up in the crank, then turned pages slowly each time she gave a breathless, “When.”

He thought of Peggy and wondered what the world had done to become such a lonely place. My God, the look in her eyes. Total desolation. He wanted to save her somehow but didn’t know a way. There were so many walls and barriers, plastic and rules and restrictions.

There had to be a way though.

That night, he lay awake in the back bedroom of his bungalow thinking hard about what he would do if and when they came to take the bookstore away. Move to another town? Start another life? But how long before they began sending travelers to that town, and the next and the one after that? There’d be nowhere to go where books weren’t banned, and he wouldn’t live like a criminal.

“Stupid Tolstoy,” he muttered into his hot arm, then slipped his face under the pillow just in time before another train went roaring by. But really, it was the memory of Peggy’s face that had made him want to hide. He couldn’t get those goddamned sorrowful eyes out of his memory.

To be continued . . .


Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/sophisticated-woman-talking-to-a-man-inside-an-office-7319478/

Saturday, November 11, 2023

His last day



 My wish in doing this was to bring John to life for those of us who love and miss him, which is many. I call myself a psychic/medium painter because not only do I draw from my spirit, but I ask the subject to contribute energetically. This is for sale in print and the original in acrylic. Thank you and remember peace. ✌️🕊️ https://fineartamerica.com/featured/be-bop-a-lula-amy-saia.html?product=art-print    

Sunday, October 29, 2023

Dear Cuttlefish, Dear Cuttlefish

 

Image by Christian_Birkholz from Pixabay


 

Dante approached because he liked her pink hair and the little tattoo of a yellow star. Elegant. He hooked a sneaker into a stool rail and ordered a beer. And then he tapped her on the shoulder, gently, next to the star. But not on the star.

“Here with anyone?”

She turned to do a sneak-a-peek glance over the shoulder yet didn’t make eye contact. “No.” 

“So you’re alone?”

“Correct.” Her drink of choice was a Bloody Mary. She tipped her head back and swallowed until an olive came close to her lips, but she didn’t let it slide in. When she put the glass back onto the counter, the olive slowly sunk down into a cloud of tawny red.

“I’m alone too,” he said, more to himself. The bartender, a rail-thin tattoo canvas himself with a scraggly beard and nose piercing, slid a beer across the counter. The bartender’s fingers read, Love Sucks, but when Dante rearranged them the letters read, Luck and then two s’s and the ove. Dante wished the extra letters made a real word. It probably did, but he was dyslexic and currently brain frazzled. Life would do that. “I like the star,” he said.

The girl rubbed a casual hand over it, like it would brush away. “Thanks.”

Voses.

Not a word.

“Hey,” Dante said, planting his ass on the stool, “what’s wrong? You always this way?”

“Not always. Just tonight.”

“How come?” He nudged her thigh with a his knee. “What’d the world do to you?”

When she looked at him, he saw that her eyes were green like sea glass. Maybe it was the pink hair in contrast, but at that moment they were the greenest green he’d ever seen. 

She sighed. “Have you ever heard about cephalopods?”

“Uh, maybe.” He’d heard the word but couldn’t recall any details. Cephalopods, cephalopods. 

“Cuddlle-fish,” she said.

Dante pictured two trout hugging each other and then cleared his head.

“Yeah, no. I don’t remember. Sound friendly though.”

The bartender ran a hand through a frizzy beard. Sucks.

“It sounds like cuddle-fish, but it’s cuttlefish. Common mistake. They live in the Great Barrier Reef off the coast of Australia, and also Indonesia,” she said. “A class of squid.”

She waited for him to look excited, but he couldn’t muster it.

“Sorry, don’t know anything about them.”

“A lot of people don’t,” she said. 

Dante took a sip of beer. A long one. Half of it was already gone. He’d just been to his uncle’s wake. And now he was lonely. Lonelier than ever.

Uncle Rev Gone.

How gone was gone? 

He eyed the chick again and wondered if he had the drive to ask her home. Sometimes he felt so wiped. 

In the hospital, Uncle Rev would tell him he was tired, but not too tired to talk. His face had been bone and yellow, jaundice chicken skin. He’d say, Come sit by my bed, Dante, and we’ll shoot the shit. Needle in his arm and nurses coming and going.

Weeks and weeks of chemo, and he’d see something on TV about a dog getting abused by some asshole, and say, Poor thing.

Evoss.

Dante drained that beer like it was an IV hooked to his mouth.

“Tell me more. Tell me about the cuttlefish.”

“Okay.”

He motioned to the bartender.

Another.

“They survive by using chromatic aberration,” she said. “That means they’re electric chameleons.”

“Oh really?”

Sometimes he felt like a chameleon.

The last three months had been a dry spell. A desert. Uncle Rev. The breakup. Regina hadn’t liked Dante’s new job. Didn’t have the nerve to say she just didn’t like him. Trouble was, she liked someone else. 

Maybe this chick would do the same. Did anyone know how to stick to one person? God, all he ever wanted was a commitment that lasted past two years. Was it too much to ask? He’d head down the street to another bar. 

They were all the same, the bars and the women.

There was nowhere to go but here.

“Well anyway, my name’s Dante. What’s yours?”

“Lola.”

“Nice to meet you, Lola.” He thought of the Kinks’ song. La, la, la, la. 

Lola.

“Why do you like these cuttlefish so much?”

“Because they’re beautiful.”

“Beautiful, like you . . . Lola?”

She didn’t look at him after he said it. And then he wished he hadn’t said it.

“Tell me more about them. I really want to know. Honest.”

She twisted on the stool. “Okay. The cuttlefish are a direct symbolic representation of everything in our life. Once I found that out, it was as if I knew what God was, or Jesus, or Santa Claus. I just knew.”

There were shadows under the sea glass.

“Knew what?”

“That life is short.”

And blue veins showing through pale skin.

She smelled familiar. 

What was it?

What did she smell like?

Vesos.

“Well, yeah,” Dante said. “It is for some folks, I guess. Me? I’m going for a hundred.”

“They live only two years, tops. That’s not very long.”

“It’s better than a fly.” Gone.

“To them it feels like forever.”

Another dude walked up and hovered next to Lola on her opposite side. When he whispered something, Dante cleared his throat. “Hey, Lola, can I buy you a drink?” He didn’t like the look of the guy. Scrawny. Strange. 

“But I haven’t finished this.” She still had the olive.

“I know, but it’s almost gone. Last chance before I revoke the offer.”

“All right, then. A beer this time.”

Dante signaled for the bartender to bring two, yet another one for him and one for her. The other dude got the hint and headed to some other chick. Some chick with normal hair and no star.

“So, they don’t live long,” he said. “That’s how nature works. You can’t be sad about that.”

“But I am. It’s July and July is mating season. They’re all dying now.” Lola rubbed the star and it played peek-a-boo between her long fingers, like an old nickelodeon. He’d seen one once in Seattle. “First, they mate.”

“Oh, really?” Dante asked. “Tell me about that.”

“Well, you see, the procreation field is composed primarily of the male cuttlefish. When a rare female approaches, the men go crazy, flashing their lights and patterns, all in an act to impress her. If she isn’t impressed, she won’t mate. Typically the largest male wins out. But once the female signals an invitation, there’s trouble.

 “The males go into battle, grabbing onto each other, pulling and twisting until the weaker one gives up. Then, the winner takes his prize, the female, and off they go.”

Her fingers came together to demonstrate. “The male wraps his tentacles around the female, forcing her to face him, then he inserts a sperm sack into an opening near her mouth. It doesn’t sound romantic, but it is. Sometimes a smaller male cuttlefish who’s disguised his body to look effeminate will come along, and while the larger male is tricked, the smaller one mates with the female too. It’s done to ensure both large and small specie propagate. I figure the larger male understands, or he wouldn’t allow it to happen.” 

Lola swished her old drink and stared at the floating olive.

“Cephalopods die after procreation. Slowly at first, then at lighting speed. A mere matter of days. The colors fade, the eyes go cloudy. It’s as if all their life force is gone, just because of that one mating session. But it’s the most beautiful thing to them. A moment of completion; of purpose. Without it, their entire existence means nothing.”

Their beers were set down and she reluctantly slid the Bloody Mary across the counter to the bartender.

“Dante? They do it willingly. The female knows. The male knows too. Like they are psychic. Cephalopods have a very short life cycle and I guess they know it’s their fate to die like that, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Do you see what I mean that we’re all like the cephalopods? Do you see what I mean, Dante?”

Dante slumped on his stool. 

“So, Lola, thanks for teaching me about the cuttlefish. Now when someone asks me, I’ll know. I have to get going.”

Goodbye, pink hair. You’re beautiful but I can’t handle this. I need to be around someone who doesn’t talk about death. Someone who’s here.

The vibrant tresses slid to her back and the little star shifted. It almost appeared to twinkle. “But aren’t you going to ask me to go home with you?” she asked.

Vosse. 

“Gee, I don’t know.”

He didn’t know.

But what was it that Uncle Rev always said? If luck comes around, don’t ask why.

Because, sometimes luck runs out. 

She touched him on the shoulder. “My answer is yes, if you’re asking.”

And it’s not like they had to talk.

“Then, I’m asking,” he said.

Her hand was as soft as her eyes were green.

Dante paid the bill and led Lola out to his car. A piece of crap Camry. Oil slicks shimmered along the wet pavement. Two Jap cars away, hipsters and college boys hung out and Dante wished they weren’t there. One had a skirt on. 

A boy in a skirt. Holy shit.

“I like the tattoo,” he said while fishing keys from his front right pocket. “What’s it for?”

“It’s from . . . have you ever heard of a gamma ray? One big explosion of radioactive decay and the star fades into nothing.”

“Sure I’ve heard of it.”

The neon sign from the bar flashed and burnt out above them in a big flash. An omen? It was too late to duck if they wanted too–sparks rained down onto their heads. What was it his Uncle said about shooting stars? Make a wish. Make it count. 

“The truth is, Dante, we’re all just one big gamma ray. One big explosion.”

Saying nothing, Dante held open the passenger side door of his Camry and watched her slide in.

“Baby, I’d love to hear all about it, but why don’t you tell me later? Like, a few hours from now.”

He’d be a luckier man then. A guy could listen to anything when his luck was up a notch. Shooting stars, gamma ray explosions. 

“Okay, later,” she said, getting in. “We can talk about it . . . later.”

That’s when he saw the medical tape residue. And the patient id bracelet she’d shoved into her purse. Then he figured out the smell: medical soap. 

Dante said nothing. 

He just got in with her and drove.


A Millennial romp through Jane Austen

  A few years back I wrote this story about a fifteen-year-old girl named Frankie drudging through a very complicated life in a fictional sm...