Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Holidaze



photo credit: Piled High via photopin (license)


It seems unreal there's another book coming out. How weird. When people ask, "What do you do?" It's hard to admit that I'm a writer. It's like saying, I'm a big phony, or I love myself, or something cheesy like, I'm special. It just doesn't feel right. But I am a writer and love every second of it. Always been lonely, always been happiest by myself, and so writing is like that little ingredient of happiness where there's always been a void.

What do you love to do?

By the way, it doesn't look like we'll have much snow this Christmas. I feel bad because in my heart I wanted a mild winter and was enjoying the very spring-like temperatures, however, the kids were really looking forward to some of the white stuff coming down. I remember one year while we were doing our shopping I said to them, "Oh, look at all the snow! What a blizzard! We'd better hurry up and get into the store before we freeze our butts off." Then we sang "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow" while walking through the parking lot, much to the amusement of passersby. There wasn't a flake in the air or a touch of frost anywhere to be seen, but for that moment it felt like we were in the North Pole. If there's one thing I want my children to have, it's a good imagination. And you can't cry over spilled milk if there isn't any milk in the first place. Or snow.

Here's another question for you: What is your favorite Christmas song? And your most hated? And . . . what is your favorite Christmas memory? Or any winter holiday memory . . .

I hope you're having a wonderful day. Thanks for stopping by.


Friday, December 11, 2015

Carrots




photo credit: Carrots via photopin (license)


The other day I shared something on Facebook that basically said: Here's how to drop people on your friend list who agree with Chump Voldemort (I'm sure you know who he is). Didn't receive any flak for it, but I could see how some would find it offensive. Then today I saw George Takei share the same post. His comments varied from supportive to downright angry. How dare you suggest anyone get rid of a friend just because their political beliefs are different! That's UnAmerican. Freedom of speech, yadda yadda yadda . . .

Does anyone else feel like Facebook is turning into the worst post-Thanksgiving dinner argument ever known?

I woke up this morning and had an epiphany: Chump Voldemort isn't all he claims to be. It's an act. We really shouldn't worry about him, because the impression I had was that he hasn't a change in hell of winning the coming election and he's pretty much a bunny in a cage at this point. He might bite your finger when you shove a carrot through the mesh, but it's only a nibble. Basically, he's harmless. So, let's not all get crazy friending and unfriending each other like the Sneeches did when one had stars and the other one was a plain-belly.

Here's the deal: Chump Voldemort will say anything to win this election. He will lie, steal, cheat and he will try to win anyone over in any kind of way, if he knows it will work. He is determined to get in the White House and absolutely no one out there can convince him to tone it down or play by the rules. His personality type is to shave corners and cut in front of the race—it's how he's done it his entire life, and running for president is no different. Didn't you ever have a friend in grade school who would say anything to get attention and who hated being alone even if it was for five minutes? Chump Voldemort is that kid. Clearly he wants this bad, but I honestly do not feel he believes half of what he says. The minute he gets into the White House he'll forget everything and do whatever works for him. It's a dupe for his followers. He's like a celebrity wrestler putting on a good show, only to shake hands with his opponent afterward. "How's the cat, Petey?" "Oh, good. . . Well, time to go home and watch Downton Abbey."

Not everything you see is reality.

The problem is, his followers have gotten so worked up that they are in a literal frenzy, and it's like they don't even know what they're saying. They're angry, but what for? They're restless, but can't sit down. It's a conundrum of all sorts and the only solution is to talk and yell and wrassle it out until the spirit goes. What's offensive is the fact that they would ever support a person like Chump Voldemort in the first place. Okay, he hates illegals, we're good with that (they say). Now he hates women, fine. Women are strange and they have . . . periods, even though Ma was a woman and gave life to me and all that. Now he's making fun of disabled people. Why not? We're so angry, so desperate, that we'll accept any little fuzzy nugget this guy throws out. Have you ever heard that saying, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything . . . ?"

And the rest of us look on in horror.

But, did you ever think about what will happen when Chump Voldemort gets into office? He's going to grin and say,  "Eh, I don't really mean any of that. I just wanted to see how my ass felt in this chair . . . ah . . . " Which is good. Really, really good. I say that because I'm happy to know it's all an act. And like I said before, he is not going to win the election. Not by a long shot.

In the meantime we have to find a way not to lose our shite (another British reference!) every five seconds on social media. We need to be more savvy and less gullible. We also need to be more kind. Who cares about Chump? Let's care about each other. Every single gazillion of us on this earth.

So, I won't unfriend anyone yet. Even though, like many, I am severely disappointed. But I feel in my gut that the world will eventually come around.

I wish you all a happy Friday. Thanks for reading and take care of yourself, and each other.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

My gut, my glut.


 This picture makes no sense.
photo credit: Pigeon at St Mark's Square via photopin (license)


I've discovered something about myself. I hate gluttony. I hate overeating, I hate feeling lethargic, I hate too much sugar, I hate too much time indoors, I hate boring TV shows, I hate 'richness' whatever it is, not rich people or things, just whatever that thick, greasy, icky feeling of 'richness' is. I hate it. I hate five days of rain and ice without snow, and crappy music, and Taylor Swift singing "This Christmas" while I'm in the grocery store on a Saturday afternoon. It's all annoying, and I hate it. I  hate it when people do too much or anything, or too little of anything. I hate my crappy typing, and the way I can't spell 'thesaurus' after all these years. I need a thesaurus to spell thesaurus. I hate wearing socks in bed. I hate when I wake up and someone's used up all the toilet paper and I have to get creative and think about personal hygiene at 6am before the coffee's even been made. I hate dirty dishes. I hate my vacuum. I hate fake sweeteners.

But . . .

I love stretching. I love feeling good. I love being light and happy. I love sunlight. I love birds--all of 'em. I love the esoteric. I love dimples. I love the color black. I love green tea. I love carrots. I love cats. I love my dog. I love being outside. I love old movies. I love writing. I love chap-stick. I love 1970s soul music. I love The Beatles. I love Bob Dylan. I love Chris Isaak. I love cooking shows. I love Levi's. I love Beck. I love sea seat. I love coffee. I love driving in my car with the windows open listening to Keane. I love my kids. I love museums. I love Picasso. I love laughing. I love cake. I love pranks. I love wine. I love lakes. I love mascara. I love pianos and guitars. I love cussing (in my head). I love my bed (and rhyming). I love my books. I love my friends. I love to sing Freddy Mercury. I love road trips. I love being on stage. I love records. I love books.

I love you guys.

It evens out. Almost.

This might have all been fueled by Excedrin. If you read it, thanks.

A Millennial romp through Jane Austen

  A few years back I wrote this story about a fifteen-year-old girl named Frankie drudging through a very complicated life in a fictional sm...