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Took my daughter to an ortho today. Perhaps you know the pain . . . money, money, money falling out of you like water. She has a lovely smile, but due to the last few years of pandemic and all the biblical stuff, it's been a delay of the inevitable: wisdom teeth and braces. I'm joking but, yeah, pray for me because this is not going to be cheap. I joked that I could start an Only Fans page. Kid exclaimed, Mother! (in that embarrassed voice all teenagers do), and I replied, "Just joking." 

But was I?

Listen, just the other day I saw a girl on YouTube promoting her Only Fans account consisting of  . . . ankles. You see, she's one of those vintage experts. You know the type; they find out how to sew a corset and it's all over after that. It's pantaloons and hair irons forever. Then they start using words like "Whilst" and "Deliciate." No, I did not say "Delicate" I deliberately said "Deliciate"--which means to enjoy yourself thoroughly. I think people who get off on bare ankles very much know how to enjoy themselves thoroughly and immensely, but perhaps that's left best concealed. 

Here are some old pictures of young ankles. Tell me, when you look at them do you get the vapors? 

On second thought, I don't think my ankles are young enough. And I'd have to shave.

One time I stumbled upon a foot fetish website and thought, this is a thing? It is. It's a thing.

Shockingly, my son knew all about it. What is the world coming to?

But really, instead of starting an Only Fans of my ankle, or feet, I think I'll post some Georgia O'keefe and call it a day. Not here, you cheap bastards. Free smelling salts with order.