Sometimes you win nothing, but you gain everything

As you might have guessed from my last entry, I was rejected by the agent I re-queried last Friday. She said my writing was good and clever, but is passing on the story. I feel really stupid for bothering her like that again, because I remember now that it was the story she passed on last time as well. Listen to those agents folks! At least she was fast—I'm really grateful for that.

I think the reason my book did not appeal to her is, perhaps, the element of a cult-like religion. But it's what I grew up with. My dad was, basically, in a religious cult and I remember very specifically he and some other men standing on the street corner in our small town—they were all wearing suits and horn-rimmed glasses. It's a very striking memory, and it's who I am. Earlier this year, I was thinking really hard about how to change the book, and while shopping one day, was approached, again, by a group of men in black suits and horn-rimmed glasses. One of them stopped, really looked me in the eyes and said, "Hi," then they all walked off. Weird, right? It freaked me out, big time. But then I thought about it, and realized that it was a sign. A sign to hold onto my truths and keep going.

So. Now. I'm considering self-publishing. Why? Because, one, I'm very independent. Two, I have this vision and it isn't being met by outside sources. Things have always been this way for me. I need to stick to this vision and produce it in such a way that my audience—the audience that was meant to read my book—will profit.

Well, anyway, I was bummed out yesterday, but today I am moving ahead without reserve. And listening to Bread. Guitar Man