Sure there's enough life boats on here . . . and let's go really fast!

It seemed like a great idea, right? Build a gigantic ship with enough watertight compartments to keep any pesky water out and voila! You have a virtually unsinkable vessel. Hey, that's a great selling point: You won't die on our ship. We promise.

But . . . what if it hits an iceberg? No problem. It would have to pierce through more than four compartments to cause any real damage. And that ain't gonna happen.

What if an iceberg does rip through more than five? Pffft. We have wireless operators. If anything bad happens to this glorious ship, they'll call for help. That is, if they're awake and at their stations. Have some wine or something. Geez.

How many lifeboats are there? A lot.

I'm an immigrant. Will I be allowed on the upper decks in the event of—Yeah, yeah. Look, I gotta talk to the chef. It's barley soup and wardolf salad night. See ya when we reach New York!

If I had a time machine, I'd go for a few hours, and roam the ship. I'd stay just long enough to see the ghostly faces lit up by moonlight and buzzing electric lanterns. Men with slicked back hair and haughty expressions, women in corsets and fine delicate skin. I'd go and breathe their last remnants of air before it all happened. I've dreamed it many times. The smell of the saltwater and the expectance in the air. The thick whisky of Fate. And then I'd slip away, quiet, back home to now.

The First-Class Menu As served in the first-class dining saloon of the R.M.S. Titanic on April 14, 1912: First Course: Hors D'Oeuvres or Oysters
Second Course: Consomme Olga or Cream of Barley Soup
Third Course: Poached Salmon with Mousseline Sauce and Cucumbers
Fourth Course: Filet Mignons Lilli, Saute of Chicken Lyonnaise, or Vegetable Marrow Farci
Fifth Course: Lamb with mint sauce, Roast Duckling with apple sauce, or Sirloin of Beef; green peas, creamed carrots, boiled rice and Parementier & boiled new potatoes.
Sixth Course: Punch Romaine
Seventh Course: Roast squab and cress.
Eighth Course: Cold Asparagus Vinaigrette
Ninth Course: Pate de Foie Gras, celery.
Tenth Course: Waldorf pudding, Peaches in Chartreuse Jelly, Chocolate and Vanilla Eclairs and French ice cream.

And here's a story of a recent ocean rescue. I guess the moral of the story is, not to name your ship TITANIC.


  1. Wow...don't name your boat Titanic for sure!

    And interesting menu =)

  2. And the survivors (of the original) got to stay in the Chelsea Hotel!

  3. Oh baby! That reminds me of a song I wrote:

    Listen love, why don't you come down
    where the stucco walls are shining wet
    the bellhops take your headache
    and the rich man haven't got there yet
    Pack away your clothes and drop your phone
    cause honey, this is home
    no, a man ain't got too many chances
    and honey this is one
    Johann is a sailor from the streets
    selling dirty highways from his sheets
    smokes a pipe in his rag clothes and
    gets a smile from every one he meets
    He has a vision in his head
    of every one he's read . . .

  4. Wow! Crazy. Holy cow that's a lot of food! I love how you describe the incident at the beginning of this post - beautiful. A lot of what if's? contributed to the sinking, that's for sure. It was meant to go down for some reason... mysterious for sure. Great post!

  5. Thank you Erica! And I agree, that's a ton of food. No wonder they sank.

  6. That's a whole lot of food!!! Oh my gosh I just read your last comment Amy and that is hilarious!! They were too busy throwing tables and chairs overboard when they should have been throwing food as well!!!

    Thank you for this I love your rendition of the whole thing it makes you think about a lot of things!!! This was an awesome post to make you really think about the what if's! Man really makes me want to get writing!

  7. And the Titanic didn't send out a distress signal until 45 minutes after the collision with the iceberg!
    I always thought it a grand act that the band played while the ship sank. Me? I would have chased the lookout with my tuba, going "You couldn't spot a freaking iceberg! An iceberg!!"

    Have a pleasant, productive day, Roland

  8. Yikes - yes, Titanic is NOT a good name!

    That menu made me hungry. My stomach is growling!

  9. Jen- LOL. I can't imagine eating all that, but it would be fun trying : )
    Glad I made you laugh!

    Roland- Haha-I totally pictured someone storming the lookout with a tuba and it made me crack up!

    Talli- I want the salmon and cream of barley soup


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Total Eclipse of the Blog

Call for readers!