Get a maid, you say? Oh no, I'm the only one cleaning this mess. No one ever pays me to do it, why would I give money to somebody to clean my house with no kids bugging them the whole time? I'm the only one who gets to vacuum with a three-year-old hanging on the handle like it's an amusement ride. This is my challenge; my own personal Survivor show. Who's going to end up winning? Me or two people that can't even pour their own OJ? Me, it's gotta be me.
My next resolution is that of exercise and health food. Ah, I'm too tired to even write that one down. Consider it broken already.
Expanding my vocabulary. That's a good one. I need to work on learning new words that express what I want to say beyond the regular crappy words I'm already using. I gotta work on that, I really does.
How about not watching so much TV? I've actually gotten pretty good with abstaining since all the shows are on repeat for Winter Break. That, and the fact that this digital TV conversion makes every other sentence sound like Max Headroom. "Today, Shiites--op--aarf--letttt--bombed a--fwip-tat--it's snowing in Kansas City."
I am sure there are many things for me to ruin in the the new-coming year. I've always wanted to be a great dancer, have my book published, make a hit record, win a million bucks. It's fun to try. I'm . . . trying . . . really . . . hard.
Happy New Year and pass the merlot.