Sometimes you win nothing, but you gain everything

As you might have guessed from my last entry, I was rejected by the agent I re-queried last Friday. She said my writing was good and clever, but is passing on the story. I feel really stupid for bothering her like that again, because I remember now that it was the story she passed on last time as well. Listen to those agents folks! At least she was fast—I'm really grateful for that.

I think the reason my book did not appeal to her is, perhaps, the element of a cult-like religion. But it's what I grew up with. My dad was, basically, in a religious cult and I remember very specifically he and some other men standing on the street corner in our small town—they were all wearing suits and horn-rimmed glasses. It's a very striking memory, and it's who I am. Earlier this year, I was thinking really hard about how to change the book, and while shopping one day, was approached, again, by a group of men in black suits and horn-rimmed glasses. One of them stopped, really looked me in the eyes and said, "Hi," then they all walked off. Weird, right? It freaked me out, big time. But then I thought about it, and realized that it was a sign. A sign to hold onto my truths and keep going.

So. Now. I'm considering self-publishing. Why? Because, one, I'm very independent. Two, I have this vision and it isn't being met by outside sources. Things have always been this way for me. I need to stick to this vision and produce it in such a way that my audience—the audience that was meant to read my book—will profit.

Well, anyway, I was bummed out yesterday, but today I am moving ahead without reserve. And listening to Bread. Guitar Man


  1. If you have the time to promote your book then I say go for self-publishing! :) Your book sounds really interesting to me. How long have you been querying for?

  2. Thank you! Oh, less than a year. I had some really awful queries, and then decided earlier this year to do some major revisions, of which I am really happy with. And now that I have the perfect query package, I have lost interest—seems more like ego assuagement at this point.

  3. Firstly, Guitar Man is an awesome song. Like it a lot. Secondly, while self-publishing is certainly an option, remember how subjective agent opinions can be. I have submitted my story fifty times, without success. I don't think these rejections come from lack of talent on my part, but rather because the agents didn't fit my project. Good luck on whatever you decide. The Souls Seekers sounds fascinating.

  4. If you have the time and the energy to take on self-publishing then go for it! The book sounds very interesting and yesterday I told you it would be something I would be interested in reading.

    I think sometimes you have to go with your gut and that is whatever feels right! Only you really know where to go from there!

  5. Agreed, Roxy, Guitar Man is the best! Thank you for the kind words : )

    Jen- Thank you as well. We'll just have to see what happens. Still undecided.

  6. Amy. Take heart from your last posting. We've all had this shit, but maybe we're all stronger as a result.

    So very sorry. Grosses bises, ton ami, Cro.

    p.s. Again, I suggest Dylan's 'If dogs run free'.... And red wine!

  7. Good for you for taking it so positively and moving ahead. Can I make a small suggestion? Self-pubbing could be the answer if you want to see your book in print and you can sell it yourself. But if you want to see it in bookstores, it's probably not the way to go. Depends on what you want, but maybe you could try querying a few more agents with your story, or even some smaller indie presses? Just a thought!

  8. Amy! That's the way it goes - it went that way for Scott-Fitzgerald, and many well published authors have sent stuff in in a different name and received rejections. It is NOT personal!

    Unfortunately, it is not going to get any easier in the next 5 years either. That should be ok for you, but spare a thought for us 60 year olds...

    It doesn't matter how good your stuff is, the chances are that you will be rejected by 99% of agents, because they are shit scared of losing money, and are not confident in backing winners. Keep at it. If you have something that is worth writing, then write it. Don't be put off by the commercial world - they have a different agenda.

  9. I'll google the song. So far today I've listen to Bread, America, and The Doors. Oh and Marvin Gaye of course. The sun is out and things look better. Hey, and it's meatloaf night, lol.

    Talli- I'll query a little bit longer and see what happens. I guess since I've gotten this far, then why not? Thank you for the needed encouragement.

    And thank you Tom, for the very wise and kind words. I guess I get discouraged, not jealous mind you, but discouraged by all the wonderful writers around me with contracts. I'll keep trying. When I read through my manuscript for edits and such, there are so many times when I say, "That is great stuff! Someone's going to love this!" So I just need to find another person with that same enthusiasm.

    I have a lot of ideas about doing audio podcasts and setting up the web-site, etc. so that if I do self-pub, it will be kind of exciting. But I will try just a little bit longer. Dangitt, gotta drag out the query letter again.

  10. Hi Amy,

    Try and hang in there a little bit longer. If this were easy, everyone would be a published author. I know that sounds glib, but there is some truth to it. :)

    Have you had a set of fresh eyes to look at it recently?

    Keep fighting the good fight.


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