Musicians Wanted

I like to read through the musician's wanted ads, and every once in a while I come across one that makes me laugh. First of all I want to say that I totally understand how hard it is to find a bandmate, or gig, etc. and I have a ton of respect for these folks. It was the wording that made me giggle. No harm intended.

I'm a singer/song writer, and guitarist, been playing for yrs by ear. I admire anyone that can sing and play, especially grls. I don't work or have a car, but know of a recordng studio. Wanting 2 make it big, If you're serious write me . . . (I don't work or have a car . . . Me thinks he just wants a girl to show up at his house—no guitar needed)

Seeking Female Vocalist for Duet, covers and originals. Rock.....classis and new , have big $$$ gigs ready for the right lady. Please just call 816-349-4588 ASAP (Probably harmless, but the PLEASE and ASAP made me laugh)

We are a band.... minus a drummer . . . We WILL make it. And we will NOT murder you. Promise. (Yikes)

Professional Rock N’ Roll band is in need of an in-the-pocket drummer who can SING LEAD VOCALS on 50% of the songs in a 4 hour bar gig plus provide back-up vocals as needed. We are looking for someone who doesn’t over play the drums and can handle higher range vocals like AC/DC covers. Must be creative enough to contribute to our original songs. Our drummer had surgery that has forced him to retire from performing. We have many years of experience and pro quality gear, you should too. If you think you have what it takes - Call . . . (Gee, they want someone to sing half of their songs in falsetto AND play drums at a 4 HOUR GIG. No wonder their other drummer retired!)

We're a newish band that needs another guitarist. Our current one is okay but she has no idea what the f*** she's doing . . . (Haha. Nothing like being honest.)

Sitar player available for concerts,recording,parties,weddings. Ali Akbar School of Music alumnus. Have amplification. (This one is my favorite. I love the wording)

And that's it. I'm sure I'll have an equally messed-up ad one of these days. Peace.


  1. Amy - these ads made me laugh. Well at least they were being honest! (especially when you read between the lines :0)

  2. Useless bass player, even worse on rhythm, can't sing, drinks too much, available NOW... Contact Cro, etc etc.

  3. Oh my God! Are those for real? Scary, scary...

  4. Can't sing or play a lick. Broke and falling down drunk. But if no one else answers your ad, I'm your man!

  5. son's a musician, (and at 14, a far better student of the English language than what you've clipped from those ads) Funny stuff:)

  6. Molly- I definitely read between the lines too often! But it's more fun that way : )

    Cro- We can start a new reggae band

    Talli- Yep : )

    Stephen- But do you have a car? Gotta have a car!

    Elliot- Welcome and that's awesome. I wish you son much luck!

    Tom- Yes, I also like to read people's insane comments on youtube. I don't know why, but some of them really crack me up.

    Wishing Everyone a Happy Monday!

  7. And to you Amy!

    You , me, and Stephen Tremp. Couldn't fail.


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