Another sticky one

Since we're on the parenting subject, let's talk about drugs. Someday my kids are going to ask me about this, or maybe they won't. I hope they will. But since I never did any of that stuff in high school I will probably sound like a pollyanna. Someone I worked with had a great answer for her son, and that is that the problem with drugs is that they make you feel good, and you can't go around feeling good all the time, it's just not natural. Though in high school what kid doesn't want to escape the hell of being filled with doubt and hormones and bad relationships? My relief was music and books. I'd come home from school and play piano and just let all those notes take me somewhere else. I was afraid of drugs, and what they might do to change me.

There's also something about getting high that takes away growth, not physical but mental, and I'll tell my kids about that. When you're high all the time you miss all those rough spots that make you strong. It's like, if you're driving on a road and it's bumpy and full of narrow turns, and you just close your eyes and tell someone else to drive, then how can you ever claim ownership of your arrival? Does that make sense?

But at the same time, we're humans, and humans deserve to try different things in life, and a life without experimentation is closing your eyes too.

I hope I get the message across that no one's life is easy, but the good things are found with hope and love, and there's a light inside each of us that can be killed by complacency so whatever you do, do it with a good honest heart and an open mind.


  1. I told our daughter that it is best to "get through" difficult things rather than try to get "around" them with drugs, alcohol, giving in to peer pressure etc.... That when you are done all the sidestepping you can think of, the difficult thing will still be there waiting for you. Best to get it over with sooner rather than later.

  2. The only time I ever tried drugs at college (smoking cannabis resin in a roll-up I think), I was so pissed it didn't even register.

    There's a moral in there (somewhere)...

  3. I love your second paragraph. Those will be good words to say to your children.

    We all know someone who has been touched by drugs. It ruins families and friendships and unfortunately, can lead to a wasted life. What might seem like fun for a short time, can lead to disaster. I have seen a lot of sadness.

  4. The last time I ever got high was after a show with a musician from Chicago. I made the mistake of having a drink as well and ended up feeling like the world was sinking under my feet. It just isn't worth it for me anymore. Anyway, I've always had this "high" inside that was totally natural. I achieve it by listening to music, by writing, by humor . . .

  5. I tell my grand children to avoid all cheap drugs - especially amphetamines. I told them both a story about how I totally fucked myself up through snorting about a gram of base speed, about a year before they were born, and although they laughed their heads off (it was a funny story) they knew - in the future - that I knew what I was talking about. When the youngest almost died from taking Mephadrone, both me and the doctor promised to buy her the purest cocaine the next time she wanted to get off her head.

    Kids believe you after they experience if they are stupid, or if there is another war.

  6. Amy - I've never taken illegal drugs ever. Probably due to my country bumpkin lifestyle so not much to offer on this one. I like what you've written and it makes a lot of sense to me. As far as our kids are concerned, like Delores commented - peer pressure is so difficult to cope with when you're young. After all who wants to be the odd one out. I think it's so good to talk with our kids about it.

  7. Tom- There's a lot of sense in what you say. Where a family member is concerned a person would do just about anything to keep them alive, even if that means abiding for the time being. I don't think anyone could fault you for that. I've always felt a parent's first job is to keep their children alive. Morals come second.

    Molly- I absolutely agree with you--talking is essential. If it doesn't work, you can only hope that the things you said will sink in eventually.

  8. All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy. We just have to make sure that when they play, they play safely. In general I'm against drugs, especially the type that is addictive, but a drink at the weekend, or a joint with mates at college, is now just part of everyday life; like it or loathe it!

  9. With any luck your kids'll be like me and try drugs and absolutely HATE how they make you feel and never touch them again :o) Then it's their choice. And when you choose things yourself, they seem to stick better. Good luck. Must be a scary thought ...


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