Lights, Camera . . .

So, we know which decade we'd like to visit. How about you find a celebrity machine where you can—for one day—live as your favorite movie or music star? Who would you be? I think I would choose Greta Garbo, but then it would be kind of cool to be James Stewart. He was the ultimate hero: A great actor, a great man. Can you imagine being Bridgitte Bardot? Just think of the flurry of lust surrounding every moment of her popularity? I wonder if she thrived on it, or found ways to hide? I know she loves animals, perhaps that grew from a distaste for the world's misplaced admiration. In that vein, I'd be Mae West. She didn't hide from anything. And, she had the best one-liners: Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

I'd be Dusty Springfield, singing anything from her Memphis album. Or Karen Carpenter, because, dayum, she could sing so sweet and was so gothic and strange. No, I wouldn't choose her disorder. Maybe for that one day I'd try to show her how beautiful she was and that eating meant living. That the world needed her to stick around and be healthy. I wouldn't be Lady Gaga because, even though I think she's madly talented and can sing her coochie off, but yeah . . . the stank. No.

Maybe I could be Martha Stewart. For one day I'd go around, like Scrooge on Christmas morning, and be the kindest, most unaffected person the world has ever known. "Everything on my website is 100%, absolutely, completely FREE! Even the fake, imitation plastic grapes!"

Or, maybe I'd just be Jack Nicholson's grin.