Tuesday, October 30, 2012

To be or not to be . . .

I am really lagging behind today and it feels like there's a heavy weight on my back. Man, so tired!! I don't know if it was the funeral or the travel or just life in general, but man, just man.

A funeral is always a strange experience, and of course, so sad. At the memorial I sang two songs, and that went pretty good. I thought learning two songs and having to perform them with only a day's time was the most of my trouble. Wrong. Julia was. She feels things so deeply, loves so hard, cares too much. There she stood by the open casket, deep in thought. By the time the eulogy was rolling, she was in full tears and blurt out, "Oh, why did you have to go!" Then later, "You let go of my hand! Oh please, don't die!" I, fresh from singing Amazing Grace, begged her with whispers to please be quiet. Cry later, kid. LATER. 

A few more, "She's dead," and, "In death, she leaves us forever," so loud the whole chapel could hear, Julia finally settled down, performance over. My little Anne Shirley had given an Oscar worthy performance and now it was time to go out and have a nice lunch. Sheesh.

Anyone else have a funeral story to share? Please, tell me I'm not the only one who always has to go through this stuff.


  1. Oh Amy my heart went out to little Julia.When I was just a bit older than your sweet little daughter, my uncle got killed in a tractor accident. Naturally at the funeral, his widow was under quite a lot of stress. After the service, everyone was milling around and I stood on the path by myself looking at the wreaths and reading the inscriptions. The wreath from my auntie (his widow)read 'To the world you were just one, but to me you were all the world.' At that moment I felt so hollow and empty and the tears just flowed. I was quickly hustled out of the way in case his widow saw and I upset her even more. Funny how things stay in your memory. If just one person had hugged me and wiped the tears, it would have eased the pain. I long to hold little Julia in my arms and comfort her. Give her a big hug from me xx

    1. I'm glad you told me that. I probably was being too rough on Julia. I guess sometimes we forget how much kids understand and how sensitive they are.

      I'll give her your hug, Molly xx

  2. Julia has a big heart and I am sure she got that from her mother. We all have had embarrassing moments with our children as they have no edit button and just blurt out their feelings. Bless that little girl.

  3. A couple of years ago I went to the funeral of a neighbour. I've never heard such HOWLING from her daughters. It was overly excessive; I had to leave.

    Julia just sounds very sensitive. I like that!


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