Top Ten Reasons Why An Agent Should Rep Me (aka my pathetic attempt to get past querying)

10. My book smells like patchouli

9. Tiger Woods read it, and he approves

8. The whole "vampire puttin' the moves on an innocent teen girl" thing is getting kinda old

7. Ghosts sparkle too

6. I need the cash

5. It is statistically known that people who don't get published are big losers (not really!)

4. I can pimp it like the ShamWow! guy

3. My books have the amazing power to cure the Swine Flu

2. Help prove to my family that I haven't been surfing the net all day

1. I'll just keep sending queries . . . forever


  1. LMAO Amy these are fantastic reasons! Without a doubt any agent would love you!!!

    Curing swine flu alone would seal the deal!

  2. Just sit back and relax, Amy - nobody responds well to desperation, even fake desperation.

  3. Thanks Jen! And hey, I had the swine flu and was cured . . . magic or not? You be the judge : D

  4. There, I made the whole 'not getting published' comment a little less harsh.

    Desperate? Oh, I am. I also suck at querying, yet excel at kissing ass. This was my last hope.

  5. Nothing is your 'last hope' Amy - you know that.

  6. I'm just using a little satire, Tom. But I appreciate the concern : )

  7. I just want to say that this really is just satire, as I said above. I'm not desperate, and I'm not trying to cut any corners. You know, I think we all get too serious sometimes and I like to lighten things up if I can. I thought it was funny!

  8. Amy--Your passion for The Soul Seekers is wonderful! Best wishes with the queries.

  9. What about for No 11 'It's a bloody good book'?

    Chin up (don't you hate it when pople say that!). Bisou, Cro.

  10. I could be like the Nigel in Spinal Tap, "Ours go up to eleven."


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