So I'm starting to feel the melancholy. School starts next week, summer is coming to an end, the show officially ran its course yesterday and we tore down the set. Everything has decided to end just about the same time and I feel it in my soul.
I was super stressed out this last week, memorizing words and steps. I was overwhelmed and nervous, but excited . . . happy. I was feeling the pain of being such an introvert among a whole bunch of really talented ladies who've been on stage much more than I have, and in much bigger productions, and who all knew each other and had that sort of larger than life stage personality. I felt like I was a little bit lost perhaps, and in the way. But that was just me freaking out.
All last week we had dress rehearsal at the theater. Our dressing room was backstage and clothing was hung everywhere, makeup was all over the counters, curling irons, heels. Heck, we even had feathers strewn around back there (from the Aretha Franklin number—think BIG). You bond so much in those rushed moments. It's a whole pattern of, "This person is on stage, so use the mirror now. Oh crap! Time to go on. Hey, grab my boots will you? Thanks!" Hobbling toward stage right, walk on just in time with boots on at the last second.
I loved being Joni Mitchell. I wore an off white hippie dress with a large leather belt, beaded earrings, and a long braid in the side of my hair. Janis Joplin was on before me singing Bobby McGee, and I was back there every night dancing around. Then when she walked off with her empty bottle of Jack, I would saunter onstage, guitar in hand, ready to sing about that parking lot and paradise. "Don't it always seems to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone . . ." How true. It was lovely working with all these great women/girls. I ache now, because it's over.
We were so worried that it wouldn't be good. But the show received great reviews, and we have been asked by several people to do some extra shows in the future. Sort of a traveling revue.
So anyway, I'm not sure what to do with myself now. For weeks I kept thinking to myself, "I can't wait until I can devote myself to writing again," and now I'm a little lost. I did write this morning, though, so all is good. For the rest of the day/week I plan to watch some movies, read a lot, clean the damn house, and just hang out with my beautiful kids.
But, will fake eyelashes and black eyeliner be part of my future again? Why yes, I think it shall.