How to get rid of Heat

I'm interrupting this program to alert you to a recent problem. Heat. She came to lunch and stayed for dinner. She wrapped herself around the back porch with long arms, and then began stepping all over my flowers and my bean plants, the grass, the apple trees. She takes the breath right out of bees, and fleas, and she's, I'm afraid, never going to leave. I don't know what to do. I'm running out of ice. I've worn this same bikini, one-hundred-and-twice. Maybe I'll buy her a ticket. Yes, that's a good idea. A ticket. To Spain. Or France. Where she can run and dance. Like a ballerina, pirouette away, away, away, away. You were never meant to stay.

You know, they recommend putting sheets in the freezer for an hour before bedtime. Better yet, just sleep in the freezer. Or stand there all night, using a bag of frozen peas for a pillow.


  1. I love the way you put that. You have such a good way with words.

    It was record temperatures for July, but there was no prize. I assume my electric bill will also top a record.

  2. And here we are still breaking the ice on the pool, when it should be 30 degrees C. I blame George W Bush.

  3. It's hot here too...and humid.....bikini? Oh, somehow I don't think so. Maybe a pair of capris.

  4. I think the frozen peas idea is rock solid. That one I will definitely consider, lol.

  5. Yes I know, of course I have air conditioning and shouldn't be complaining. But it IS hot, and I need refreshment!! : )

  6. Though it wilts the beans,
    The summertime trumps the cold.
    Heat makes good sweet corn.

  7. Ack! I know exactly how you feel! You know what else is good? Hang wet towels over open windows :o) Organic air-con! xx

  8. Marshall- I should have planted corn!

    Jessica- That's a great idea, except for the mosquitoes.

    No, I'll just sit here and trick my mind into thinking it's early winter already (I hate late winter).

  9. Oh what an awesome post Amy. Would you object must if I repost it and refer back to your blog? Its totally awesome for a Friday. Thanks for coming by my blog by the way and here's my follow.

  10. I'd be honored. Thanks Wendy!


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