Mr. Bill

If you've ever watched episodes featuring the original cast of Saturday Night Live then you know who Mister Bill is. He was also on The Uncle Floyd show, a short-lived late-night program that we all watched obsessively one summer so long ago . . .

Anyway, the poor little masochistic creation of Walter Williams never had a chance around that evil Mr. Sluggo and of course Mr. Hands. Spot the dog didn't fare too well either, but it sure made us kids laugh. With sayings like, "Ohhhhh noooooooo . . ." and various other pleas for help, Bill wormed his way into our hearts and made us shoot Trix flavored milk out of our nose. And now all these years later you can find him in your local grocery store as a lovable dog toy (what would Spot say?). 

Bill's modern rival would be Annoying Orange and his sidekick, "Knife" who slashes opponents to their juicy end. Not quite as innocent as Mr. Bill being squashed by a huge steamroller, but violent all the same. And now that I think of it, this all started with Punch and Judy, so I hereby blame the French for all this nonsense. 

I still love you Mr. Bill. I promise Henry will be nice. What's that? No squeaker inside? "Ohhhhh, noooooooooo . . ."