Sunday, July 22, 2012

A post about bullies and your survival

I want to talk about bullying, in particular, online bullying. There was a report the other night which focused on what teens are going through these days with all the social media. Facebook, which has always seemed like such a fun meeting place for friends and family, has now become a tool to spread false rumors about classmates. A fake page will be set up to slander someone's reputation, maybe someone seen as awkward, or a loner, or someone that is your typical wallflower. Many of us were that person, that victim, and it was hard enough just having the usual social outlets. I know it must hurt, and I know every day must feel like forever.

All I can say is, don't use Facebook if this is happening to you. Stop all social media. Let the jerks be jerks, and stay away from it all if only for your own sanity and protection. And remember, it's only the internet. You are a beautiful, awesome person and these people aren't. You have dignity. These people don't. You are going to have a great life, these people will have to live with their disgusting selves forever. Let it go. Move on. 

I don't know if you've ever heard the phrase, "Consider the source." I want you to do just that. The kind of person who would slander your name, bully, pick on you, is a rotten, ignorant, undeveloped human being. Consider the source. 

Instead of wasting your time thinking of ways to get back or make cunning comments to hurt your attacker, spend your time finding things that make you happy. Work hard on your education. Study, read, do some art, learn how to play guitar and piano, find friends who are similar to you and who are good, kind people. In a few years you will be in college, and then you will have a whole, beautiful life ahead. I can tell you that high school feels like forever, but it is not. It is one miserable time in your life where a lot happens, but it gets much better. You meet really cool people in the next few years after high school. Hang on so that can happen.

I used to come home from school and play piano like crazy. It saved me. I also read. Now I write. Find whatever saves you. This is a mean, terrible world right now, but there are good people like you who are making it a better place. Work hard for yourself and for the world. You can undo all the hatred by just being good and kind and by speaking positive words. 

Remember, there's always going to be a bully, so concentrate on your life and not theirs. 

Again, stay away from social media if it is causing a negative influence in your life. Just let it go. Find people who you like to hang out with. Read, find a hobby. 

Don't let the bullies win. They aren't important. You are important. You are beautiful and deserve happiness. It is coming. Just hang in there. 

15 comments:

  1. I think a lot about this now that I have taken in two granddaughters and one is starting 9th grade and high school. This is the advice they have listened to and the talks we have had. Wish them luck, too.

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    1. I wish them luck and many years of joy and good health too!

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  2. Sadly, bullies are always there. They were there when I was a teenager being mean and attacking people at their most vulnerable time and they are still here now doing the same thing in new and different ways. I was so lucky to move to a new school in 10th grade where no one knew me. I might not have been the most popular girl but I wasn't hated and when I saw bullying, I tried to stick up for those people. Bullies are people who try to make other people look bad so they can feel better about themselves. I won't say pity them but I'll echo the post - consider the source. And do your best to ignore them because eventually, they do go away.

    ps sorry for the long comment!

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    1. You don't have to apologize, I love your comment and thank you for all the wonderful points you made. In particular, I like what you said about sticking up for others. It's not often done, but can make a huge difference.

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  3. Bullying is what weak, sad and insecure people do in order to feel special and powerful. They deserve our pity but not our own self confidence. Smile at them sadly, tell them if they ever need to talk you are there for them, and move on with your own life. Hopefully, some day, they will get help.

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    1. Yes, I agree. Bullies can change, and sometimes we have no idea of the reason behind their attacks.

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  4. A thoughtful and thought-provoking piece, Amy. My compliments.

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  5. From someone (like most people) who have been bullied in her youth, I say Amen. However, there will always be bullies, and nothing we can do or say will stop this behavior. But, if people stand up to it, there will be less.

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    1. A teacher once told me that whenever a bully moved away another kid stepped up to take their place. I guess it's a power position that will always exist.

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  6. Bullying, sadly, doesn't only affect people at the time when it takes place; it can (and often does) leave scars that last throughout life.

    I recently heard of a case very much as you describe. Someone set-up a facebook page for an overweight schoolboy saying how much he enjoyed being slapped. Of course for weeks after people would randomly approach him, and slap him. He later tried to kill himself; I quite expect the bullies even thought that was amusing too.

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    1. I'm assuming this type of thing will become illegal, as it should.

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  7. Amy this is such a good post and so are the comments - like Arleen, I say 'Amen' to everything being said

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  8. Dear Amy, this posting truly puts bullying into context. You have given such excellent advice here. I wish all young people--those who are being bullied and those who are doing the bullying--could read this. It's so important for the young people who have experienced the bullying done on social media not to respond in kind. Becoming what we dislike is not the way to become a fully realized human being. Thank you for this posting. Peace.

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  9. Very important message, Amy. Thank you. When I was teaching, I saw bullying on social media all the time. It's scary and has a massive effect on those it's targeting.

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