Saying good-bye to my angel

When Henry first came into my life, I knew something very special had happened. It was clear from the first moment he was not a normal dog and that I was unusually lucky to have found him. As a mother of two young children--busy, tired and stressed--it was clear a rambunctious puppy wouldn't do. But Henry was like a calm, little old man who'd come to live in a house of chaos. He had soft brown almond-shaped eyes and long, floppy red ears with black tips, and of course the trademark short legs of a dachshund. But he wasn't a typical dachshund or even a typical dog, he was a like friend who'd been sent on earth just for me. 

Fifteen wonderful years have passed with my dear friend. He sat by my side as I wrote, woke up with me to get the kids ready for school--and waited patiently for them to come home--we've had long walks and drives together (oh, those beautiful walks!) and he even got to ride the tram at Fantastic Caverns. 

Every moment of every day with Henry was a day I will treasure forever. Like Forest and Jenny, Henry and I were two peas in a pod. He even knew my thoughts and would very often peek around the kitchen wall when I'd thought about getting him a snack. "You've read my mind again," I reprimand, and he'd wag his tail. 

The years finally caught up with him, my friend, and it was time to say good-bye. The truth is, I'd willed him to live longer than Heaven had originally granted. The last year in particular it became clear it was time to let go and that at long last we'd reached the end of our journey here on earth--but 15 years isn't enough. Not nearly. I miss him every day and still expect to see his sweet paws running to the door after a trip to the store. I miss his humor, his kindness, his grounded, calming energy; his sweet demeanor, his grit and verve. Everything about him basically, I miss. And the kids miss him too. 

Handing Henry to the vet technician after he was put down was the hardest thing I've ever done. It's stupid, but in the car on the way home I thought of that scene in Titanic when Rose says to Jack, "I'll never let go." 

Each day is teaching me to put Henry in my heart so that we can still go on long walks and drives together, and wherever he is, I know he's holding me in his heart as well. For that is what Heaven is. It's not up there or any kind of far-off, mythical place. Heaven is love. Heaven is right here.

I'll love you forever, Henry. You were never just a dog, you were a friend. The dearest one of all. I'll never let go.