Survival

This morning I woke up convinced that I was the world's worst writer and should just give it all up. I even considered replacing writing with learning how to fold towels like they do in departments stores. A worthy lifetime goal, but not quite as satisfying. Man, was I depressed.

There's something that happens to a writer every once in a while where we lose our ability to think in a rational manner. Every word we write is like poison; every thought like the plague.

It started when I finally gained enough nerve to open my old manuscript and see what kind of drudge I sent out on that full request over a month ago. Yikes. Ouch! @#***?!! Mistake after mistake after hopelessly idiotic mistake. Now, I may not be a mind reader, but I can say this: the beautiful, wonderful agent that has my manuscript is in all likelihood going to send a rejection--if she sends anything at all--and I won't blame her one bit. It hurts, but that's life.

However, after a full day of depression and doubt, the old fighter came back and I am now dedicated to revision. I really, really love this book and the characters. I have a vision, and I have become a better writer--with many thanks to the sweet people who encourage me here. Thank you! I appreciate each of your well-wishes and support and I hope I can do the same for you.

So, no giving up today. Or tomorrow.

Comments

  1. Everyone has weak momments...doubts...We are all human, even agents. :)

    I hope you hear good news soon.

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  2. Thank you Sharon. I found a wonderful Beta last night who made some great suggestions, so I have renewed hope this morning.

    Thanks for the words of support!

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  3. I think these moments are an important part of our personal growing experience. But, I am certain you are too hard on yourself. I usually am my worst critic. You can do this. You will do this. It will be great.

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  4. Amy,
    Thank you for posting this... I have to re-write my query letter. My first query letter, bombed. Wow, I just can't get up the gumtion to write. I'm glad for your renewed hope. Yes, we all are our own worse critics.

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  5. You're welcome Cindy, Tess and again to Sharon. I appreciate the kind words. I feel better now with some revisions. Cindy, query letters are so frustrating!!!! I can help you with some of the basic stuff if you want. And then for more intense critique you should try the Share Your Work section on Absolute Write.com. They will tear it to shreds, but in a good way : )

    Email me if you want: info@amysaia.com

    ReplyDelete

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