Being Positive

I'm reading Buffalo Girls by, yes again, Larry McMurtry. I tole you I jus' couldn't quit him! I like McMurtry because his phrasing is similar to mine, because he understands humans waaaay too much, and because every once in a while he writes a line that makes me laugh out loud. I love that. It's what I like to do when I write. I'll make a scene really serious then out of nowhere throw an absurd one-liner and then go back to serious again. It's like popping knuckles or something—I just have to do it.

Have you ever noticed how much writers need to be validated for their work? Not mentioning me, of course! We're always asking if our work is good enough, is it readable, does it run smooth, do you like it?!! What writers are really looking for is someone else, besides themselves, to read their work. Please, please, read this . . . like a beggar reaching out for food. Tell me it's gooooood. I know I'm guilty of this, but I have been trying to wean myself—although the honorable mention the other day made my life. MY LIFE. But no, I do want to wean myself and just have faith that what I produce is good enough, that I know how to edit properly, that I am capable of good work, and am no longer a clueless newbie.

One thing I know for sure, once you let doubt have its way with you, it's all over. A person has got to hold firm and say no to negative thoughts. I always equated it to someone painting a white wall black. It's very easy to do, but not so easy to cover the black wall with white paint. Being positive is a hard process, and takes great care and effort. It's delicate and needs protection.