Both of the kids are in school today and I miss them. As the week goes by I'll learn to get over it, but right now all I can do is think of all the beautiful moments of them being here in the afternoon; making lunch, playing, reading, going to the park. Even if I've been annoyed and busy with housework, it was still beautiful. And, I know, I know, they'll be home in a few hours and it will seem as if no time passed, but for now it's an ache. Also with Julia in school all day for the first time, I feel a sort loss of duty if you will. For so many years I've been her cheerleader, her protector. Now I'm just a regular human again. It's been such a struggle, and such a joy. You know, when her sensory disorder became evident back when she was around two years old, I fought like crazy for her. My life has been defined by her. She's a funny, spirited child. And smart, and loving. She can create a whole universe out of a blanket and some pillows. She laughs freely and runs so fast she's almost flying. She loves to eat and loves to be my little cook. But, man . . . is she messy.
This summer was kinda tough when it came to blogging. Here's to hoping I can use this free time effectively: visiting and commenting! But more important I hope to finish old projects. I also hope to finish some reading. I'm way behind on that.
Take care everyone.
Amy, the children have started back to school early - they don't go back here until about the 5th September. An empty house always feels a bit strange but then it makes it all the nicer when they come home.
ReplyDeleteIt does seem early. It always takes me a week to get over summer : ) This year is just a little harder xxxx
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking...school, already?? Do they start summer holidays earlier then?
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your free time. My kids don't go back to school for another three weeks are so, but you are so sweet to miss them as you do.
ReplyDeleteI remember that feeling of loss when my young children went off to school the first few years. You brought back some memories.
ReplyDeleteIt is wonderful to hear how much you cherish your children.
MBJ- they ended school late, but there were quite a few snow days. I think kids still need a longer summer though. Plus, all the pools close when school starts, so if it's an early date, and it's still hot out, no one gets to swim!
ReplyDeleteAngela- thank you : )
Starting Over- Very nice of you to say : )
You are a good mom to miss your kids already! Most of us would be cheering by now. At least I always did :)
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm always this way for the first week, then I grow relieved that they are gone for those few hours. It's confusing. I love patterns and schedules and being needed.
ReplyDeleteHowever . . . they came home from school and Julia all but ignored me. All she wanted was to eat some cheese from the fridge. And Liam was angry. He said, "Don't talk to me ever again," and later, "I don't like you." Guess he wasn't happy about going to school. I remember last year though that he had a hard time adjusting.
Amy, I found you via KarenG's blog, and thought you summed this sadness up so well - it shrank all the years since my little ones went to school and brought back the ache you spoke of.
ReplyDeleteI posted a picture poem on my blog recently, called 'Little Girl Lost', and had some lovely comments that showed just how deeply mothers feel this loss.
The Time Sculptor
Life is quite well organised. Firstly WE bring them up, then we hand them over to teachers etc, then they eventually look after themselves. Each stage has its advantages and pleasures. The best bit, however, is when they come back to visit with their own children in tow. That's a pleasure you'll have to wait quite a while for; but it's worth it!
ReplyDeleteAck. I hate that feeling. But you'll get comfortable in it again in no time. Then your kids will be back home again and you'll be wishing for peace! :o) Enjoy it while it's there. It's precious time. xoxox
ReplyDelete