Horrible, disgusting post

Last year in one of my many quests for healthy living I bought a box of Kashi GoLean Crunch. I wasn't looking to lose weight necessarily--though I can be somewhat obsessed with staying thin--it was more about detoxing and feeling good. The cereal tasted great, though it was a bit too crunchy. Even soaked in milk (rice milk for me) for extended amounts of time it maintained a rock-like crunch that rattled my teeth and gave my jaw quite a workout. But it tasted good. I had been afraid that Kashi would be all benefit and no pleasure. I liked it so much that for the next few days I ate it as a snack, instead of cookies or chips. But then about one evening in, I began to notice a horrible stench was following me around. I was experiencing some unusual bloating and gas, but not your usual bloating and gas. This was like super evil bloating and gas . . . with a horrible odor. But that stench just couldn't be me. I looked around to see if Henry the dachshund had been around. Nope. I ate more cereal. Another day went by and I was still having really bad gas with a horrid, rotten flesh/rotten egg aftershock. Slowly, and with dread, I realized that I could possibly be the maker of this deadly oxygen mutating nuclear plant power gas. Me. The first thing I did was stop eating the cereal. Then I went online and began to read story after story of all the other fools who'd been lured in to healthy living only to be turned into the most hideous humans on earth. Some accounts were so funny that I laughed myself into hysteria. I think it was just a relief to find out I wasn't the one making the evil stench. I mean, I was, but it wasn't me me, it was Kashi.

Have any of you tried this stuff? Had similar results? It would make a great party favor at Spencers. Or they could package it for Halloween in cute little bags with a skull and crossbones for decoration.

All I can say is losing weight and being healthy can't be worth losing your social life. I don't want to die lonely.

Comments

  1. Very funny. I guess it is true, we are what we eat - fortunately or unfortunately.

    I just started eating Fiber One Cereal which sounds like it might cause the same effect as Kashi. I think I'll pass (pardon the pun) on it for my snack today. I'd give it to my husband, but you know men......

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  2. Whenever I go on a healthy food kick, raw food, more fibre, the same thing happens. Nasty. Worse....totally uncontrollable. Eat junk, have friends.

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  3. I don't need expensive branded cereal to make personal attacks on the ozone layer, Amy, but it might be a selling point .

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  4. I think that might be one to miss too.

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  5. Oh guys, why does healthy food have to have so many side effects, lol?

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  6. There's a cabbage only diet that's popular as you can lose weight ultra rapidly...

    ... I can't imagine how bad the side efects of that one would be.

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  7. When my youngest son became veggie, aged about 13, we all noticed how he started to smell 'sweeter'. His feet not longer smelt, his BO disappeared, and (he informed us) other unmentionables also became odourless. Perhaps Kashi wasn't part of his diet.

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